If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
