LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
