Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
My balls are so social today.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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