whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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