I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
How external is "for external use only"?
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
