haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
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