This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
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