Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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