...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
