Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
did i just pee glitter
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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