Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Randomize
