Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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