Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
