Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
