His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
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