Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
i just google imaged poop.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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