On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
i think i have two assholes
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
