I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
