its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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