So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
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