I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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