How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
