Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Randomize
