dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
