somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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