I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Randomize
