I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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