Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
He passed out mid-signature
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
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