Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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