hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
