Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
