There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Randomize
