I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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