We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
