what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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