But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
