This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Randomize
