I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
