ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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