what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
