I must be too annoying 4 u.
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
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