I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Randomize
