I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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