I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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