last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Randomize
