I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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