I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
