why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
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