it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
