He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
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