Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
