Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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