The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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