After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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