I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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