you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
