Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
