No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Randomize
