I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
well, you know. whores of a feather.