Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (805): View more from California

  Soap is not a condiment

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  (805): Soap is not a condiment http://tfl.nu/gm1k
  Replies (6) Good night (654) Bad night (1083)
• Favorite

  (507): View more from Minnesota

  As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.

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  (507): As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September. http://tfl.nu/oogz
  Replies (19) Good night (4766) Bad night (740)
• Favorite

  (510): View more from California

  You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...

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  (510): You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock... http://tfl.nu/jcau
  Replies (236) Good night (1011) Bad night (3797)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again

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  (617): you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again http://tfl.nu/3f6n
  Replies (10) Good night (5712) Bad night (980)
• Favorite

  (419): View more from Ohio

  dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"

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  (419): dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault" http://tfl.nu/a193
  Replies (16) Good night (1578) Bad night (6437)
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout

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  (215): I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout http://tfl.nu/qm9m
  Replies (11) Good night (6302) Bad night (562)
• Favorite

  (915): View more from Texas

  I told you I was good to drive

  (1-915): View more from Texas

  dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate

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  (915): I told you I was good to drive (1-915): dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate http://tfl.nu/7qaj
  Replies (54) Good night (73697) Bad night (2569)
• Favorite

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.

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  (781): I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin. http://tfl.nu/37ur
  Replies (43) Good night (1254) Bad night (8996)
• Favorite

  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.

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  (262): Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award. http://tfl.nu/7kwq
  Replies (6) Good night (3699) Bad night (895)
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?

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  (206): How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it? http://tfl.nu/31c7
  Replies (23) Good night (3002) Bad night (1804)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.

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  (303): You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool. http://tfl.nu/uc3l
  Replies (12) Good night (2038) Bad night (1558)
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!

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  (717): I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?! http://tfl.nu/77lq
  Replies (7) Good night (1044) Bad night (3006)
• Favorite

  (219): View more from Indiana

  THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.

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  (219): THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA. http://tfl.nu/qipd
  Replies (2) Good night (2552) Bad night (1112)
• Favorite

  (815): View more from Illinois

  E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.

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  (815): E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou. http://tfl.nu/m8k9
  Replies (10) Good night (1234) Bad night (859)
• Favorite

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.

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  (202): This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point. http://tfl.nu/l1mt
  Replies (10) Good night (2561) Bad night (969)

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