Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(773): View more from Illinois

Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.

(773): View more from Illinois

"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.

(773): View more from Illinois

I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.

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(773): Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could. (773): "We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible. (773): I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive. http://tfl.nu/kn2s

Replies (21) Good night (928) Bad night (1627)
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(512): View more from Texas

hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.

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(512): hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes. http://tfl.nu/z5fi

Replies (17) Good night (3099) Bad night (588)
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(712): View more from Iowa

I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.

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(712): I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled. http://tfl.nu/klod

Replies (37) Good night (5364) Bad night (796)
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(860): View more from Connecticut

There is too much vodka and too much dick.

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(860): There is too much vodka and too much dick. http://tfl.nu/9jud

Replies (25) Good night (3710) Bad night (1836)
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(206): View more from Washington

In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.

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(206): In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds. http://tfl.nu/g8w5

Replies (7) Good night (1028) Bad night (2692)
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(607): View more from New York

Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?

(607): View more from New York

Nevermind, it's in the dryer.

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(607): Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head? (607): Nevermind, it's in the dryer. http://tfl.nu/r8jx

Replies (6) Good night (3543) Bad night (1017)
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(775): View more from Nevada

Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.

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(775): Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form. http://tfl.nu/2bqh

Replies (4) Good night (1612) Bad night (622)
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(206): View more from Washington

I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow

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(206): I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow http://tfl.nu/8ygv

Replies (27) Good night (2526) Bad night (1089)
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(785): View more from Kansas

After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.

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(785): After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this. http://tfl.nu/akz0

Replies (8) Good night (2024) Bad night (715)
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(734): View more from Michigan

Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."

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(734): Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask." http://tfl.nu/9mhd

Replies (6) Good night (1415) Bad night (751)
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(754): View more from Florida

Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless

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(754): Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless http://tfl.nu/pgaf

Replies (13) Good night (1403) Bad night (851)
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(562): View more from California

It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.

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(562): It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which. http://tfl.nu/ynpd

Replies (10) Good night (1319) Bad night (372)
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(662): View more from Mississippi

Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to

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(662): Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to http://tfl.nu/r6si

Replies (2) Good night (741) Bad night (392)
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(931): View more from Tennessee

He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob

(1-931): View more from Tennessee

Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic

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(931): He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob (1-931): Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic http://tfl.nu/rfmh

Replies (4) Good night (1658) Bad night (502)
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(407): View more from Florida

We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.

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(407): We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore. http://tfl.nu/jkjf

Replies (2) Good night (723) Bad night (595)

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