if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n