Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
