My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Randomize
