FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
