my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
